Modern Inconveniences
by xevious
Summary: Power to the people! And to Fuzzy Lumpkins!


NARRATOR: The city of Townsville

MODERN INCONVENIENCES

By 'Xevious' Pat Banks

[Stock shot of Townsville skyline.]

NARRATOR: The city of Townsville….is taking it easy.

[Several shots show Townsfolk relaxing. Children are tossing a frisbee in the park. A barefoot man, wearing overalls and a straw hat that's pulled over his eyes, is leaning against a rock with a fishing pole straddled in his arms. Young beachgoers are sunbathing in skimpy bathing suits.]

NARRATOR: It seems like those groovy guys and gals have the right idea. Think I'll catch a few rays myself.

[Close-up of a patch of grass. A drop of water falls on the blades. Several others quickly follow it. A small puddle begins to grow.]

NARRATOR: Aw, nuts! It looks like rain. So much for my tan.

[Panning back, a snoring Professor Utonium is lying on a beach chair in his backyard. He's sporting a loud, red Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sunglasses. A drop of drool forms at the corner of his mouth and falls to the ground, splashing into the puddle.]

NARRATOR: Oh, it's only the Professor! I should have known it was too beautiful a day for rain to be spoiling things! Wait a minute! The Professor's taking it easy? What has the world come to? I'll tell you! It's all of life's new modern conveniences! 

[Whip pan to the outside of a typical house window looking inside at the kitchen. A man and wife are busy making dinner.]

NARRATOR: What used to takes minutes now takes mere seconds! Anything from cooking….

[The man takes a frozen turkey and places it in a microwave. He presses a button and two seconds later the machine dings. He pulls out a steaming hot bird. The couple breaks out into huge smiles.]

NARRATOR: Comfort….

[Cut to a family of five in their living room. They are fanning themselves as sweat rolls down their faces. The wife walks over to a thermostat, which is set at 80 degrees. She turns a dial so that it's set at 20 degrees. A thin layer of ice instantly covers the room and everyone in it.]

NARRATOR: To cleaning.

[Cut to a man struggling to vacuum his living room floor. He turns a switch on the vacuum from 'suck' to 'super-suck'. The entire carpet is drawn inside the machine until a gleaming hardwood finish is all that remains. He throws the vacuum into the closet, grabs his hat, and walks out the front door.]

NARRATOR: It seems like everything takes less time now than it did in days of old.

[Cut to the exterior of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten.]

NARRATOR: Well, almost. Some things still seem to go on forever. 

INT. POKEY OAKS KINDERGARTEN - EARLY AFTERNOON

[The students are sitting at their desks as usual. Ms. Keane is at the head of the class.]

KEANE: All right students, today we are going to learn about electricity. Does anyone know where electricity comes from? 

BUBBLES: The sun.

HARRY: Wind.

MITCH: Water.

BUTTERCUP: Rubbing your shoes across the carpet.

KEANE: Well, I suppose that's correct, but I'm talking about the kind you use in your homes. 

BUTTERCUP: I use it at home all the time, like this.

[Buttercup proceeds to rub her shoes on the carpet. She then reaches out and touches Bubbles on the neck, emitting a huge, blue spark in the process.]

BUBBLES: Ouch! Quit it!

KEANE: That's quite enough of that, Buttercup. Stay in your seat. Now, can anyone tell me places that don't have electricity?

MARY: California!

KEANE: Very good! Can anyone tell me why California doesn't have any electricity? 

[Ms. Keane's voice melts into the background as we zoom in on a fidgety Buttercup glaring at the wall clock.]

BUTTERCUP (thinking to herself): Aw man, it's just two o'clock. It's like time's standing still. I wish the hotline would ring so I could cut class.

[Cut to Blossom, who's also glancing at the clock.]

BLOSSOM (thinking to herself): All right! It's only two o'clock. Another half hour of school! I thought is was time to go home.

[Bubbles checks the clock also.]

BUBBLES (to herself): Let's see. The small hand is on the two and the big hand is on the twelve. Wait, the small hand could be the long skinny one. The other hand is fat and could be the big one. Or is it the other way around?

KEANE: ….and that's how California can solve it's energy crisis. (She looks at the clock while thinking to herself.) Two o'clock? It can't be. 

[A puzzled Ms. Keane checks her watch.]

KEANE (out loud): Oh my goodness! It's two forty-five! Class, you're dismissed, retroactive fifteen minutes ago!

CLASS (throwing their arms in the air): Yea!

[From outside, the school doors burst open as the children start running out. Flying over the top of the other kids are the Powerpuff Girls. We zoom in on the Girls high in the sky.]

BUTTERCUP: I knew time was standing still. The clock said it was still two!

BLOSSOM: There must been some type of power outage. I hope Townsville can handle the unexpected.

BUBBLES (pointing below): Down there! 

[From the Girls POV, there are honking cars blocking every intersection. Fire hydrants are shooting water high in the air after being run over. Men, in orange prison uniforms, are running down the sidewalk with televisions on their shoulders. Police are in hot pursuit. Zoom in on the Mayor who is in the midst of the disorder. He's running around in a circle frantically waving his hands in the air, screaming.]

MAYOR: We're all doomed! Doomed I say! It's the end of the world! Every man for himself!

[Pan back to the Girls, who are hovering high overhead.]

BUTTERCUP (to Blossom): Does that answer your question?

BLOSSOM: Duty calls. Let's go!

[They fly towards the street.]

INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE – LATE AFTERNOON

[The Mayor is sitting behind his desk squinting at a pencil as if looking through the sites of a gun. Ms. Bellum, with her back to the camera, is surveying the city through a window. The Girls are hovering next to her.]

BELLUM: Good work, Girls. It appears as if Townsville is returning to normal.

BUTTERCUP: Piece of cake.

BLOSSOM: Just doing what comes naturally.

[The Mayor now has the pencil balanced horizontally on his nose. His arms are extended to help provide stability.]

MAYOR: The combination of your super-powered abilities and my calm cool leadership was all it took.

BELLUM: Yes, Mayor, you really came through when it counted.

MAYOR: The voters expect no less. (The pencil rolls off his nose and hits the floor.) Darn it, I almost had the record.

[The Mayor bends down and scoops up the pencil. He checks the lead.]

MAYOR: Cheap things are always breaking when you least expect it. Oh well, that's easily remedied.

[He sticks the pencil into the automatic sharpener on his desk. Nothing happens.]

MAYOR: Aaaugh! The power's out again! We're all going to die! 

BELLUM: For the hundredth time, the sharpener's been broken since this morning. Use the one on the wall.

MAYOR (whining): But it's so far away and, it takes so long. I'll just wait until we get this baby fixed. 

[He taps on the sharpener as he tosses the pencil to the side. Panning over, there is a stack of several pencils in a pile; each one with a broken lead.]

BUBBLES: Don't worry, Mayor. I'll help. 

[Bubbles scoops up the pencils and furiously starts sharpening them. When she hands them back to the Mayor, they are no more than nubs.]

BUBBLES: Here you go. All nice and sharp.

MAYOR: Eh, thank you very much, I guess.

BELLUM: Girls, the Mayor has another reason for calling you here besides congratulating you for saving the city.

MAYOR: I do?

BELLUM: Yes, sir. Would you like me to explain it to them?

MAYOR: By all means. I'd like to hear it myself.

BELLUM (to the Puffs): Townsville is in a crisis. What happened today is only a taste of what's to come. Our power supply can't keep up with the demands of the city. We're growing too fast. Unless we act quickly, these blackouts are going to become more and more frequent. You saw how people reacted. The whole town will turn upside down.

BLOSSOM: I don't know how, but we'll help out any way we can. Just tell us what we can do.

BELLUM: I'm glad to hear that. Read this. 

[Ms. Bellum hands Blossom a piece of paper.]

BLOSSOM (reading): To whom it may concern: Henceforth and therewith, all counties residing in the state of…. (She lowers the paper.) This thing goes on forever and I don't even know what half these words mean. Do I have to read it all?

BELLUM: No, go ahead and skip to the bottom. That's where you come in.

BLOSSOM (reading): Each county unable to provide total coverage to each established household shall be penalized posthaste as mandated by the state constitution via amendment seventeen, article twelve.

BELLUM: In essence, what it says is that we'll be assessed a substantial fine if every house in the county isn't hooked up to our power grid. We're the _only_ county not to meet the quota. To make matters worse, the state would be entitled to a huge grant from the federal government as a sign of good faith if we meet these standards. You can see the bind we're in. Everyone's counting on us. 

BUBBLES: How many houses are left?

BELLUM: Only one.

BUTTERCUP: One?! That sounds easy. Can't Townsville handle it themselves?

BELLUM: I'm afraid not. That's why we need you three. Let me show you.

[Ms. Bellum walks over to a wall and pulls down a rolled up map.]

BELLUM (from off camera): That one house is right here.

[The Girls' mouths fall open in disbelief.]

NARRATOR: Who could possibly be without electricity in this day and age? Only a moroon wouldn't want to live without today's modern conveniences. 

EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF TOWNSVILLE - EARLY AFTERNOON

[A cabin is in the background surrounded by trees. Several of its boards have started to warp and hang loosely by one nail. Chickens are running loose on the porch. A pig is sleeping in the front seat of a rusted-out car. Inside the cabin, Fuzzy Lumkins is busily dusting a picture with a feather duster.]

NARRATOR: I rest my case.

FUZZY: Oh granpappy, I have you to thank for all this. If it weren't fer you leavin' me all this in your will I'd be in the poorhouse livin' a life o' misery.

[Cut to the picture hanging on the wall. A shabbily constructed wooden frame surrounds the photo. It shows a person who is almost an exact copy of Fuzzy except for the presence of bags under the eyes and a long gray beard. Carved into the frame at the bottom is 'Git offa my property!'. He drops the duster to the floor, takes a seat in a rocking chair, and grabs 'Joe' his banjo.]

FUZZY (strumming the strings and singing): Home, home on the range. Where the deer and the antelope plaaaaaay….

[A loud knock on the door interrupts Fuzzy's quality time of being alone. He reaches for his 'boom stick', which lies next to the chair.]

FUZZY: Those durn revenuers! I'll blast 'em good this time!

[He swings open the door to see a well-dressed college-aged student standing before him.]

STUDENT: Excuse me sir, but I'm selling subscriptions to pay my way through….

FUZZY: Get offa my property! 

[While standing on the porch, he shoots after the fleeing student.]

FUZZY (walking back to his chair.): Gosh darn city slickers ruinin' a perfectly good afternoon. 

[There is another knock. A seething Fuzzy wildly opens the door to see a man holding a suitcase.] 

MAN: Would you be interested in a set of encyclopedias? 

FUZZY (while firing his gun): Get offa my property! 

[He mumbles to himself as he retakes his seat in the rocker. A series of people now come calling in rapid succession. The camera cuts back and forth from showing the visitors outside knocking on the door to Fuzzy as he sits in his chair. The maniacal hillbilly gives each one the same response, a shower of lead from his shotgun.] 

GIRL SCOUT: Want to buy some cookies? (blam!)

YOUNG WOMAN: My car broke down. I was wondering if I could…. (blam!)

GRAY-HAIRED MAN: Congratulations! You're the lucky winner of ten million…. (blam!)

MAN: I thought you might be interested in some of our literature. (silence!)

[Fuzzy peeks outside through a crack in the door. A bald man in a robe stands before him.]

FUZZY: What kinda litrature?

BALD MAN: Why, the way to eternal peace and happiness achieved by communal sharing of all our worldly possessions. 

FUZZY (confused): Huh?

BALD MAN (smiling): You give us all your stuff!

FUZZY (boiling mad): Get….offa….my ….property!

[He shoots repeatedly at the robed man, who speeds off in a multi-colored school bus with the word 'PEACE' painted on the side. Fuzzy gives chase down the dirt road, firing the entire time. Cut to the inside of the cabin facing the closed front door. The Powerpuff Girls voices come from outside.]

BLOSSOM: Anybody home?

BUTTERCUP: You just saw him leave so why are you even asking?

BLOSSOM: I want to be absolutely sure.

BUTTERCUP: Why didn't you say so in the first place? I can take care of that.

[The door flies open and Buttercup rushes inside. Blossom and Bubbles remain in the doorway.]

BUTTERCUP: Yoo hoo, Fuzzy! You here? Come out come out, wherever you are!

[She grabs two metal pots and starts clanging them together.]

BLOSSOM (covering her ears): Stop it! You've proved your point. 

[The room falls silent.]

BUBBLES (facing outdoors): The coast is clear.

[Two men in hard hats peek inside the doorway from opposite sides.]

MAN 1: Are you sure?

BUTTERCUP: Sure we're sure. Watch. 

[She prepares to start banging the pots again until Blossom and Bubbles each grab one arm.]

BLOSSOM (to Buttercup): That will be enough of that. (To the men) You'd better hurry. We don't know how long he'll be gone.

MAN 2: We need to move fast. (He turns around.) Hustle up, fellas!

[The Girls watch as several men run past them carrying tools and large boxes. The sounds of drills drilling and hammers hammering fill the air.]

BLOSSOM: I sure hope this plan succeeds. We may be taking things a bit too far.

BUTTERCUP: Would you mind explaining to me again how this is supposed to work?

BLOSSOM: What's not to understand? It's so simple.

BUTTERCUP: Humor me.

BLOSSOM (sternly): Ms. Bellum gave all the details back at the office. We watch over Fuzzy's cabin until he leaves and then signal Townsville's crack squad of electricians.

BUBBLES: The same ones who always follow up behind us after our monster fights. (Pointing around the room.) Phil and Chuck are over there. Boris is by the fireplace. Frank would be here, but he's out sick. I hope he gets well soon. He brings me candy. Hey, here comes Harry! Hi, Harry!

HARRY (walking by carrying a toaster): Hi Bubbles!

BLOSSOM: These guys are so fast they should have the place completely wired in five minutes.

BUTTERCUP: What difference will that make? He'll go nuts when he sees this.

BLOSSOM: That's why they're installing all these state of the art appliances. Our only chance may be to get him hooked on modern living. And if he does go nuts and tries to take it out on Townsville, we'll be right outside to cut him off before he can do any real damage.

BUTTERCUP: I guess that does kind of sound like a plan.

[Two men walk by carrying a big screen TV.]

BUTTERCUP: Now I see what you mean by state of the art! Get a load of the TV! I've got to check that baby out!

BLOSSOM: Keep your mind on business. That's not what we're here for.

HARRY: We're all done. 

BUBBLES: You're the best! (Bubbles and Harry exchange high fives.)

[A man rushes inside.]

MAN 2: I saw him coming over the ridge! He'll be here in a couple of minutes! Run for it!

[Everyone starts zigzagging through the room in a mad scramble.]

BLOSSOM (looking back from the front door): Buttercup, come on! 

[Cut to Buttercup, who has turned on the television and is watching a football game.]

BUTTERCUP: All right! All right! I'm coming! (She flies toward Blossom, leaving the TV on.)

[Cut to a non-descript place in the woods. Fuzzy is trudging along dragging the butt of his gun along the ground.]

FUZZY: Why can't those dad-burn people leave me alone? Folks always stickin' their nose where it don't belong. Good thang for that one I ran outta bullets or his hide woulda' been mine. (He sees his cabin in his sight.) Ah, home sweet home. Hey, what's that? 

[Attached to the side of his cabin is a thick, electrical wire fed from a telephone pole.]

FUZZY: What in tarnation is that thang?! Somebody's been messin' around on my property!

[Fuzzy, now on the porch, slowly reaches for the doorknob, his shotgun ready for action. From his POV scanning the cabin's insides, there are electrical gizmos everywhere. A kitchen counter has been installed that now holds a toaster, coffee maker, can opener, etc. Panning through the room, there is also a stereo system, various lamps, and a big screen TV, which is still showing the football game. Cut to the edge of the forest. The Powerpuff Girls are hidden behind a fallen tree closely watching Fuzzy entering his cabin.]

BUTTERCUP (whispering): He's inside. 

BLOSSOM (whispering): He's bound to have seen what they've done by now. Why isn't he reacting?

BUTTERCUP (whispering): Why isn't he going berserk like he always does?

BUBBLES (also whispering): Why are you two whispering?

[After her sisters give Bubbles the evil eye, the conversation continues.]

BLOSSOM: Maybe he fainted.

BUTTERCUP: Fuzzy? Are you kidding?

BUBBLES (checking the sky): Whatever he's going to do, I wish he'd get it over with. It's going to be dark soon.

BLOSSOM: Don't worry, Bubbles. Any second now.

[It is now evening and the sun is on the horizon.]

BLOSSOM: Any second now. My leadership instincts tells me it's about to go down.

[It's now pitch black. Bubbles' arms are wrapped around her knees as she huddles into a ball. Buttercup's visibly frustrated. Blossom is still intently watching the house. Lights are blazing from every window.]

BLOSSOM: That's right. Any moment. I can feel it.

BUTTERCUP: Put a sock in it, Blossom! He's obviously not going to do anything.

BLOSSOM: Oh, and how would you know? Did you suddenly become an expert on stakeouts?

BUTTERCUP: I may not be an expert on stakeouts, but I am on spotting stupidity! Anyone with half a brain could see that we should be at home right now watching 'Puppet Pals' instead of hiding behind some rotting log waiting for a non-existent fight! Look at his place! All the lights are on! The plan worked! End of stakeout!

BLOSSOM: Go ahead and leave then. We told Ms. Bellum we'd watch for as long as it took, and I'm still not satisfied. Bubbles and I are staying until I'm absolutely sure he's not going to go on one of his patented rampages. 

BUBBLES (now angry): I'm with Buttercup on this one! It's cold, it's dark, and I think I see a pair of eyes looking at us from over there. (She points to a dense patch of trees.) 

BLOSSOM: Fine! You can both leave for all I care! I'll stay and keep watch all by myself. Go ahead and watch your TV shows with your hot chocolate on a soft cushy sofa. I'm staying!

BUBBLES: Well, there is a way we can do both at the same time.

BUTTERCUP: You know what, she's right.

BLOSSOM: What?! There's no way we can do both at the same time. How are we supposed to….to….Whoa! Hold on a minute! You're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you?

BUBBLES AND BUTTERCUP (nodding their heads): Uh-huh.

BLOSSOM: No way I'm going up there. You two must be out of your minds!

BUTTERCUP: Like you said, we need to be absolutely sure. 

BUBBLES: Besides, it's two to one.

[Cut to the exterior of Fuzzy's front door. Blossom is frowning while a smiling Bubbles and Buttercup start knocking.]

BLOSSOM: If he starts blasting away with his shotgun, don't say I didn't tell you so.

[From the cabin's interior, the door slowly opens as Bubbles sticks her head inside.] 

BUBBLES: Fuzzy, you home? It's your old friends, the Powerpuff Girls. Fuzzy?

[Bubbles swings the door all the way open so that all three Girls get a full view of the cabin. From their POV, Fuzzy is seen slumped in his rocking chair with a tin cup in his hand. The pupils in his eyes are twice the normal size as he watches the television.] 

BUTTERCUP: Yo, Fuzzy! What's up!

BLOSSOM: That's weird. He's just sitting there.

BUTTERCUP: It's like he's in some kind of trance.

[Bubbles floats to his side and waves her hand in front of his face.]

BUBBLES: Anybody home?

BUTTERCUP: Hey! He's watching 'Puppet Pals'.

BUBBLES (peering into his cup): And drinking hot chocolate!

FUZZY (speaking as if mesmerized): Shhhh! Cain't hear the TV.

BLOSSOM: Be careful! It's some kind of trap.

BUTTERCUP: You don't honestly think he's that smart, do you?

BLOSSOM: You've got a point there.

BUTTERCUP (to Fuzzy): Mind if we watch?

FUZZY: Just be quiet so's I can listen.

BUBBLES: Can we have some hot chocolate?

[Fuzzy points to a pot sitting on a metal grill over an active fireplace.]

BUBBLES: Thank you!

[Blossom floats over to a crossed legged Buttercup who has situated herself in front of the television.]

BLOSSOM: Are you crazy?! This is Fuzzy Lumkins! He's a villain, not a good guy.

BUTTERCUP: Shhhh! Can't hear the TV.

[Bubbles floats over with two tin cups of hot chocolate. She hands one to Buttercup.]

BLOSSOM: Bubbles, this isn't right.

BUBBLES: Shhhh! Can't hear the TV.

BLOSSOM (sighing): If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

[She sits next to her sisters. Cut to the TV. Clem delivers one last bonk before 'The End' flashes across the screen.]

FUZZY: Hot dang, that was funny! I loves television. Hey, Powerpuff Girls! When did you all get here?

BLOSSOM (to her sisters): See, I told you so. (to Fuzzy) Don't make any sudden moves! We have you surrounded!

[Fuzzy is now standing menacingly over the heroines.]

FUZZY: Are you the ones responsible for all this?

BUTTERCUP: Yeah, we are! What are you going to do about it, big boy?

FUZZY: I wants to shake your hands, that's all. (He shakes each Girl's hand in rapid succession as he continues to speak.) Why didn't anyone tell me about television before? I think I'm in love.

BUBBLES: You like 'Puppet Pals'?

FUZZY: I love 'Puppet Pals'! What else is on? Tell me everythang!

BUBBLES: When that's over we usually watch 'Major Muskrat and His Magical Water World'.

BUTTERCUP: And on days when we're extra good, the Professor let's us stay up to catch the late night monster movie.

FUZZY: 'Major Muskrat' and monster movies! Oh boy! (He embraces the television and starts kissing it.) My new best friend. (He turns to the Girls.) Tell you what, if you tell me all I needs to know about these here contraptions, you all can stay and watch with me. If they's as good as this television, I'll be in heaven on earth!

BLOSSOM: Huddle up!

[The Girls form a tight circle.]

BLOSSOM: For the first time I can see this is a good idea. The plan is actually working, and we can make sure it succeeds in person . I say we stay.

BUTTERCUP: Staying sounds like a winner to me. Tonight's movie is 'Dracula vs. the Mole People'. I've been dying to see that one.

BUBBLES: It's warm, there's light, and the hot chocolate is free. Let's do it.

[They break their huddle.]

BLOSSOM: We'd be glad to hang around and help you get adjusted.

FUZZY: Goody! Let's get started!

[Rapid montage of the Girls and Fuzzy enjoying their evening as banjo music plays. Blossom yanks Fuzzy's finger out of a light socket. Every hair on his body is sticking straight out and the tip of his finger is black. Blossom points to the empty socket and shakes her head. Buttercup shows where the volume control on the stereo is before she cranks it up. She and Fuzzy start dancing. Bubbles makes popcorn in a popper and hands everyone a full bowl. The Girls are seated on the floor in front of the TV. Fuzzy is rapidly turning the channels with the remote. A man is shown getting a pie to the face. All four point to the screen and start laughing.] 

NARRATOR: It seems like everything's turned out A-OK to me. So once again the day is saved….

INT. POKEY OAKS KINDERGARTEN – MORNING

[Typical scene of a typical morning at Pokey Oaks with Girls at their table as usual.]

NARRATOR: Hey! What gives? I thought the day was saved. Guess not.

BLOSSOM: I'm bushed. We haven't stayed up that late in a long time.

BUBBLES: But look at all the fun we had. 

BUTTERCUP: Yeah, that Fuzzy can be one cool guy. He's like everybody else once you get to know him.

[Screams are heard coming from outside the classroom.]

BLOSSOM: It sounds like someone's in trouble! Ms. Keane?!

KEANE: Go ahead, Girls, but try to make it back in time for the spelling test!

BUTTERCUP: You got it, teach! (They bolt from the room.)

[The Girls are flying over Townsville scouring the action below.]

BUTTERCUP: Everybody's going crazy again.

BUBBLES: It's just like what happened yesterday.

[Cut to the Mayor, who is sprinting down the sidewalk.]

MAYOR: We're all doomed! Run for your lives!

BLOSSOM: There's the Mayor. The power must have gone out again. You know the routine. Move out!

[On the street, the situation is almost an exact copy of the day before with chaos reigning.]

BLOSSOM (pointing): We have another problem to worry about! Look over there! 

[Cut to Fuzzy Lumkins, who is also running down the street at a full gallop while screaming at the top of his lungs.]

BLOSSOM: I told you he'd go plum loco! It was bound to happen!

BUBBLES: He's headed straight for the Mayor! 

BUTTERCUP: We have to stop him!

[Shot of the Girls in flying formation. Cut to an empty intersection. From off screen, we hear the screams of both Fuzzy and the Mayor. The screams grow louder until the two eventually appear running into the scene from opposite sides of the screen, meeting face to face in the middle of the intersection. They stop and silently stare at each other. Rapid cuts back and forth between the Mayor and Fuzzy.]

MAYOR: I can't sharpen my pencils!

FUZZY: I cain't make mah capuccino!

MAYOR: I can't sharpen my pencils!

FUZZY: I cain't make toast out of mah bread!

MAYOR: Ehhh…. I can't sharpen my pencils!

FUZZY: I cain't watch TV!

MAYOR: No TV?! You poor man! You must be devastated!

[Both begin a major sobbing spree as they embrace each other. The Girls land next to them.]

BLOSSOM: This I do not believe.

BUBBLES: Buttercup said he was acting like everyone else. This proves it.

BUTTERCUP (tapping Fuzzy on the shoulder): Uh, Fuzzy, you gonna be all right?

[Fuzzy grabs Buttercup by the shoulders and starts shaking her violently.]

FUZZY: Mah power! What happened to mah power?!

BUTTERCUP: How should I know?

FUZZY: I cain't live without mah power! You gots to do somethin'!

BUTTERCUP: Darn it, Fuzzy, I'm a crime fighter, not an electrician!

[Fuzzy flings Buttercup off to the side where she smashes into the side of a car. He now grabs Bubbles.]

FUZZY: Tell me you know what to do!

BUBBLES (shrugging her shoulders while grinning sheepishly): Sorry.

[Bubbles is flung headfirst into a brick building. He now grabs a startled Blossom.]

FUZZY: For the sake of TV, gimme some answers! What am I gonna do?!

BLOSSOM: All we can do is wait. It's up to the power plant to get the electricity turned back on.

[He throws Blossom straight into the air. A crowd has gathered around the action.]

FUZZY: That's it! I'm a gonna march straight down to that thar power plant and make 'em turn mah power back on!

MAYOR: I'm with you, Fuzzy! Let's give them the what for! (to the mob) Who's with us?!

MOB INDIVIDUALS (while panning through the crowd): How do they expect me to make my waffles! I need to dry my hair! I can't blend! Power to the people!

[The angry mob, which has somehow mysteriously managed to quickly come across torches and clubs, starts to make its way down the street. The Powerpuff Girls re-group at the intersection.]

BUTTERCUP (to Blossom): Don't even think about saying it!

BLOSSOM: Saying what? I told you so? Well, I told you so! Why doesn't anyone listen to the voice of reason? I knew this was a bad idea from the start!

BUBBLES: Who cares about who told who what! We have to stop Fuzzy!

BUTTERCUP: She's right! We have to knock some sense into him before he gets to the plant.

EXT. TOWSVILLE POWER PLANT – AFTERNOON

[The mob, led by Fuzzy, is making its way to the plant's entrance. The Powerpuff Girls land right outside the front door. The mob stops just short of them.]

FUZZY: Out of the way, Powerpuff Girls. We gots to git inside and make 'em turn the power back on!

BLOSSOM: This isn't how things work! They'll get the power back on as soon as they can. You have to believe me!

FUZZY: We cain't wait that long! Outta the way. (He steps closer.)

BUTTERCUP (also stepping forward): You heard what she said. Back off! 

FUZZY: We is goin' in thar rather you like it or not!

MAYOR: You tell 'em, Fuzzy!

BLOSSOM (pulling on Buttercup): Get back, Buttercup. We can't afford to start a riot. Innocents might get hurt.

BUTTERCUP: Do you have any other bright ideas? If they won't listen to a Powerpuff Girl, who will they listen to?

BUBBLES: I think I know! Stall them as long as you can. I'll be right back. (She flies off.)

BLOSSOM: Bubbles, wait!

FUZZY: What's a matter? You all gettin' cold feet? Now for the last time, git out of our way!

[The crowd moves in closer until they are literally right on top of the Girls.]

BUTTERCUP: What now?

BLOSSOM: I….I….don't know!

[The two remaining Puffs shrink to the ground as they are covered by shadows.]

BUBBLES (from off in the distance): Stop! (She lands next to her sisters.)

BLOSSOM AND BUTTERCUP: Bubbles!

MAYOR: It doesn't matter how many of you there are! Nothing's going to stop us from getting inside!

BUBBLES: Mayor, I have a present for you.

[Bubbles whips out a handful of pencils from behind her back and gives then to the Mayor.]

MAYOR (calmly): Oooh, pencils. And the leads are all pointy, too. (He tips his hat.) Thanks, Bubbles. (He shuffles off.)

[An enraged Fuzzy snorts steam from his nostrils as his chest puffs out in anger.]

BUBBLES: I have something for you too, Fuzzy.

[She hands him the old picture of Fuzzy's bearded kin.]

FUZZY (puzzled): Granpappy? What are you doin' with granpappy's picture?

BUBBLES: What would he say if he saw you right now?

[A thought bubble forms next to Fuzzy's head with granpappy appearing inside.]

GRANPAPPY: Dag nabbit, boy! Look what them interlopers done to our cabin! Why if I was still alive I'd be tellin' _you_ to git offa my property and never come back! You good fer nothin' lazy loafer livin' high off the hog! I'm ashamed to call you my granson.

[The bubble pops and disappears.]

FUZZY: Granpappy! No! Come back!

[Fuzzy becomes still except for the occasional facial twitch. Everyone watches for his next reaction.]

FUZZY (quietly): Git offa my property. (He slowly walks through the crowd while speaking a bit louder.) Git offa my property. (Now running full bore and yelling.) Git offa my property!

BLOSSOM (addressing the mob): OK, everyone. You can return to your homes now. We'll take it from here.

[The leaderless crowd starts to disperse while mumbling under their breath. Pan back to the Girls who are now together at the plant's entrance.]

BUTTERCUP: Wow, Bubbles! That was awesome! But how'd you know?

BUBBLES: I saw the picture hanging on his wall last night and noticed it was the only one in the cabin he kept dusted. I knew that whoever it was must have meant something special to him. And when I saw what was written on the frame I just knew it had to work.

BLOSSOM: You're a lifesaver. A minute later and I don't know what would've happened.

BUTTERCUP: The only question left is what's Fuzzy going to do now?

[Cut to Fuzzy's cabin which is silhouetted in the background. A refrigerator is thrown out of the window. It is followed in succession by a record player, lamp, and toaster. After a few seconds of silence, a large screen TV is shoved through the front door and onto the ground with a loud crash. Fuzzy then runs to the side of the house and grabs hold of the telephone pole that leads the wire to his house. He uproots it from the ground and flings it into the woods, ripping the wire from its moorings. He now stands motionless and breathes heavily.]

INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - EVENING

[The Mayor is at his desk trying to speak into three phones simultaneously. The cords are twisted around his body.]

MAYOR: Yes! Yes! I know the power's back on! What's that? Your waffles are waffling? Tell them to make up their minds! If there's one thing I can't stand it's indecisive breakfast foods! (He hangs one phone up.) You say your hair is as fresh as a soft summer breeze? (He sniffs the air.) I can almost smell it from here. (He sniffs again.) Wait a minute, that's just my deodorant. (He hangs up a second phone.) Your black and blue blender is blending a bevy of blueberries? Blended! I mean, splendid! (The last receiver is put in its place. The Mayor wipes his forehead.) Whoever says being Mayor is easy ought to have my job for a day.

[The Powerpuff Girls slowly float their way to the front of the Mayor's desk.]

BUBBLES: We're back, Mayor.

BLOSSOM: We did a flyover of Fuzzy's cabin and he's ripped out all the wires.

BUBBLES: Sorry we failed you.

MAYOR: Failed? Nonsense. (He walks to the window.) This is Townsville we're talking about. It's more alive now than ever thanks to us stopping Fuzzy like we did.

BELLUM (standing in the doorway): Ahem!

MAYOR: That's a nasty cough you have there, Ms. Bellum? You coming down with something? 

BELLUM: There's a flu going around called Extremis Fibbitis. I may have just caught it.

MAYOR: I read about it in the paper the other day. It's spreading like wildfire. Highly contagious thing. 

BELLUM: And here we are in the same room together. It's a wonder you haven't caught it yet. 

MAYOR: True. So true. You know what? I just remembered that I have some dry cleaning to pick up. Might take the rest of the day. (Under his breath.) Or the whole week for that matter. (He leaves the room.)

BELLUM: Goodbye, Mayor. (She turns to the Girls.) I'm glad to see you three are safe.

BUBBLES: Yeah, we're OK. I don't think we caught the flu yet. I wonder if that's what Frank has?

BLOSSOM: Bubbles, there's no such thing as Extremis Fibbitis. She was trying to get rid of the Mayor.

BUBBLES: The Mayor has the flu?

BUTTERCUP: Nobody has the flu! She made it up! The end!

BLOSSOM (to Ms. Bellum): Like we told the Mayor, Fuzzy pulled out all the wiring and threw out the TV and all the other stuff. 

BUTTERCUP: We did what we could, but it wasn't enough.

BUBBLES: Now you're going to be in trouble with the state.

BLOSSOM: And the power will keep going out all the time.

BELLUM: Don't be so hard on yourselves. A representative from the state government was here earlier today and everything's been resolved.

BUTTERCUP: Huh?

BUBBLES: How?

BELLUM: I'm proud to announce that Pokey Oaks County now has total coverage. And with our federal grant that we're due, we'll have more than enough money to upgrade our systems so we won't keep having these blackouts.

BLOSSOM: But Fuzzy's place? 

BELLUM: The answer was right under our noses from the start. Only we weren't looking at it from the right angle. (She hands Blossom the same document the Powerpuff had read the day before.) Read the bottom part again.

BLOSSOM (reading): Each county unable to provide total coverage to each established household shall be penalized posthaste as mandated by the state constitution via amendment seventeen, article twelve. (To Ms. Bellum) I still don't get it.

BELLUM: It's all in the wording. It says each _established_ household.

[The Girls squint their eyes at the document. They suddenly raise their heads and start smiling.]

ALL THREE GIRLS: Ohhhhhhhh!

BELLUM: While you three were busy stopping that mob, I made a quick trip to 'Les Emmerson's House of Signs' with the police chief. From there, we took care of business over at Fuzzy's. Our problem was solved.

NARRATOR: Why am I the only one who doesn't understand what's going on?

[Cut to the same silhouette of Fuzzy's cabin as shown before. The camera pans back to the outskirts of his property line. A small sign, hidden behind a tree, has been hammered into the ground. It reads 'PROPERTY CONDEMNED'.]

NARRATOR: Now I see! I've never been good at reading between the lines. That's what I get for not wearing my glasses. 

[Pulsating hearts appear as do the Powerpuffs in their usual ending pose.]

NARRATOR: So once again, the day is saved….thanks to….the Powerpuff Girls…And Ms. Bellum, our resident legal eagle! Gee, I sure hope the Zoning Commission doesn't decide to make a snap inspection, or there's going to be a heap of trouble.

END


End file.
